I've been up frittering away the hours of darkness on my computer while those around me sleep fairly restfully. I'm in such envy of it. After a week of self inflicted night shifts operating in my own lonely hell, I feel alienated and cheated.
I just despise the dreams that come when my head finally hits the pillow, after I pop a pill hoping my madness will go away. It's taken as though it will cure my ill. But it doesn't.
So far the outlooks is dim and night has just begun. But I'll hope for hopes sake. To nod off soundly and wake to a day without the fuzzy edges and blurry thoughts that the medicine creates. That tomorrow evening I'll be much more like everybody else and not here again complaining to myself.
I read a blog entry from Matthew Good and he says it better than I ever could.