Sometimes it's like tunnel vision. I get depressed and can't stop thinking about it. Even when I'm not thinking about it I'm still feeling it. Thoughts of failure bearing down on me.
I don't know how to explain it. I feel like when I was younger. I feel like an old Depeche Mode tune. Nothing seems to have changed the moments I feel this way. More lonely than words can describe. Incredibly empty. It passes for an hour or so but keeps coming back.
My dreams are heavy hearted, and I wake that way too. Sometimes a nap clears my head. Not now.
The only difference is the missing thick black eyeliner and pale palor of years ago.