Gloom and doom

Sometimes it's like tunnel vision. I get depressed and can't stop thinking about it. Even when I'm not thinking about it I'm still feeling it. Thoughts of failure bearing down on me.

I don't know how to explain it. I feel like when I was younger. I feel like an old Depeche Mode tune. Nothing seems to have changed the moments I feel this way. More lonely than words can describe. Incredibly empty. It passes for an hour or so but keeps coming back.

My dreams are heavy hearted, and I wake that way too. Sometimes a nap clears my head. Not now.

The only difference is the missing thick black eyeliner and pale palor of years ago.

5 comments:

zazzafooky said...

I'm so with you on this one. Melancholy's a bitch.

disso_k said...

Sorry to see that you are feeling like crap, Gabbi. Sometimes I feel like I have reverted back to when I was younger too. The depression back then sucked and at times it feels like nothing has been achieved. I hope that things start to clear for you soon.

mainja said...

i know this is none of my business, but the blog world is all about people sticking their noses in other people's business...

how long has it been going on? if it's been more than three weeks you should think about seeing your doctor to talk about a possible med change. just a thought.

what helps me if i'm in a slump but not full-blown is taking jamieson's mega vim and sometimes some extra vitamin b.

jane said...

Gabbi, haven't you been feeling this way for quite some time now? I'm just asking cuz I hope you're talking to a pdoc about this. The season change has a big affect on people who tend to become depressed, due to less sunlight.
I hope you're feeling better soon dear.

Milt Bogs said...

You definitely need some of that pick me-up spray Gabbi. I don't know what to say because I only get downs that last a day at most. That's when I go down to the bar and listen to what the peeople around have been up to. Listening to them takes my mind off what's troubling me. Have you tried drawing this damn monkey that keeps climbing on your back? I just wish there was something I could do that would help.