Domestically defunct

My attempts to blossom into a domestic goddess have made me question how I could ever be my Mother's daughter. She isn't a compulsive cleaner like my Aunt, nor is she obsessive like my Father. However, her cleaning abilities far surpass more people than not. I, on the other hand possess little natural ability or affinity to it.

While I myself at times may be disheveled, I appreciate a sense of semblance. Strangest of all, not being naturally tidy (my head alone is a messy place) - I happen to have a near phobic aversion to germy places. For one, murky water makes me shudder. My feet clench at the thought of shower and tub floors (yet I can walk barefoot on sidewalks without hesitation). Xanax and perseverance - are my coping tools. Loose hair and dust bunnies are traumatic to deal with. Grime makes me gag.

Yep, I have issues! Worst of all, I do it to myself. I have the uncanny ability to work myself up. I question if anxiety is cause or effect. Am I creating a source for my already present tension? I could do without the nightmares that make 'Fear Factor' look like a picnic in the park.

I guess everyone has their gross-out threshold. What does it take to reach yours?


jane said...

Hi Gabbi!! I sent you an email & am not sure if you got it. Would you please check your email & reply to it cuz I need to know asap. Thanks!!

The Mass Defective said...

I have weird thresholds for different gross out factors. I don't like germs either & can't touch door handles & stuff with my bare hands. Can't touch library books without thinking of all the germs that must be on them. I also have the same problem with the shower, yet I walk barefoot around the house & outside 90% of the time.

I think anxiety has both causes & effects. I think the biggest problem is that we tend to exacerbate the anxiety with the mental script playing in our heads. Have to work on changing the script. It's hard work, but I've had a little success doing it.

Take care,

jane said...

Well, I'm not really a clean freak, but I can make myself get totally worked up over something ~ if I think about it, LOL. For some stupid reason, my brain just sometimes THINKS on things I know will gross me out.
But hey, anytime you're in Southern Calif. and want to clean, look me up! LOL