Domestically defunct

My attempts to blossom into a domestic goddess have made me question how I could ever be my Mother's daughter. She isn't a compulsive cleaner like my Aunt, nor is she obsessive like my Father. However, her cleaning abilities far surpass more people than not. I, on the other hand possess little natural ability or affinity to it.

While I myself at times may be disheveled, I appreciate a sense of semblance. Strangest of all, not being naturally tidy (my head alone is a messy place) - I happen to have a near phobic aversion to germy places. For one, murky water makes me shudder. My feet clench at the thought of shower and tub floors (yet I can walk barefoot on sidewalks without hesitation). Xanax and perseverance - are my coping tools. Loose hair and dust bunnies are traumatic to deal with. Grime makes me gag.

Yep, I have issues! Worst of all, I do it to myself. I have the uncanny ability to work myself up. I question if anxiety is cause or effect. Am I creating a source for my already present tension? I could do without the nightmares that make 'Fear Factor' look like a picnic in the park.

I guess everyone has their gross-out threshold. What does it take to reach yours?