I wake up early now, and my heart is in the day. I feel alive, then.
Yet as the day wears on I find my thoughts grow darker, and my hope hardly existent. Yeah, I'm being melodramatic, because I'm really feeling that way. Moody.
Sometimes I'm really not sure who the girl is standing in front of the mirror. She doesn't look like me, or aspire to the things I'd always wanted. So I sit, with my head cradled in my hands. Staring at the monitor, or the lamp, or the window. Just waiting for these moments to pass. I feel so detached. Isolated, but too uninspired to talk, meet with friends, dream a little.
I miss Kel, I miss the energy of our conversations. I miss feeling talented, interesting, having things to talk about. I try to remember what it was like to feel creative and pretty. I worry that girl, the one I was... is slipping away.