I Long to Be...

I had those god-awful bad dreams again. I woke up so upset with myself at 6AM and didn't want to go back to sleep. I was made to feel like nothing at all, without love and powerless, thinking I'd rather be dead than feel all this again. I hate them so much. The never-ending nagging headache I've got tops it all off.

I've restarted my super list. My end-all, beat-all ultimate list of lists. I've distanced myself from my nightmare some what, so I'm pushing forward as the day wears on. When I can't concentrate or participate I need a plan to follow. Create order where I feel there is none. I guess it helps to know I'm up to something. Each check mark reminds me I accomplished a bit for the day. Each deed creates a purpose so that I might belong.

2 comments:

Milt said...

Hi Gabbi,
Someone's put my plug back in and allowed me to reconnect with the outside world.
I guess they worked out I wasn't a serious threat to humanity.
How's Amelie?

jane said...

I've had 1 dream like that & it is totally debilitating. I'm glad you went on with your day & tried to put it behind you.