So starts a slump day following a tumultuous night.
My throat feels like I swallowed a giant sized panda, which is hard to bear I'd say (not sure where that pun came from).
Up too late with little sleep and too much cheese, my dreams were so very frightening! I closed my eyes to spy the treachery brought on by pink wailing babes, hell bent on murdering their newborn kin. I doubt horror writers could conceive such terrible things. I'll quote myself saying "...some people are born evil" for why I witnessed such disturbing nocturnal events. These imaginings lead me to believe Swiss cheese may perhaps be the work of the devil, or at least a midnight snacking of regret. I dare say.
What have I been up to?
Some may wonder what I've been doing. My artsy whims aren't the easiest to track. Often I find myself going in more than one direction, riding the free sail of an art spirit arriving wherever inspiration takes me. I paint, I design, from there I grow.
I love to see other peoples creative renderings just as much as making my own. That is what brought me to Etsy. I just love the unpretentious, unadulterated expression of this craft community! Not only was setting up my own shop a perfect oppurtunity to make the cash I need to pursuit my illustration venue (I'm in desperate need of new software), it also allowed me to help others get their businesses off the ground. It's wonderful to be able to work at my own pace alongside such remarkable people. Art comes in so many forms!
Often one type of work leads into another. From there I began designing blogs and websites. There is nothing nicer than being able to help someones literary musings or objects of interest to truly shine.
I love to see other peoples creative renderings just as much as making my own. That is what brought me to Etsy. I just love the unpretentious, unadulterated expression of this craft community! Not only was setting up my own shop a perfect oppurtunity to make the cash I need to pursuit my illustration venue (I'm in desperate need of new software), it also allowed me to help others get their businesses off the ground. It's wonderful to be able to work at my own pace alongside such remarkable people. Art comes in so many forms!
Often one type of work leads into another. From there I began designing blogs and websites. There is nothing nicer than being able to help someones literary musings or objects of interest to truly shine.
Presence
Life has been virtually the same. I have my off days, my better than most days - just like before. The only thing I've added to the mix is a tidbit of creative work in a community setting and it's made me feel better about myself.
I have to keep my work load low to keep the stress level down because I still have the uncanny ability to fall apart easily. I try not to self evaluate and accept that nature, cope and not negate. I'm getting somewhere even if its in my own time.
I'm reminded how important my blog friends have been. How nice it is to be thought of (thanks Jane) and the sense of history and sharing correspondence creates. I read more than I write these days. I sort of fear the introspection involved. Sometimes thinking pains me, silly as that may seem. But I realize putting myself out there is a step I cannot miss. To include it will make me whole. That to care and be cared about is a certain need for myself as it is for anyone. Thus, I am revisiting my published identity.
I'll put my first tell out there and let you in on a personal feeling of late. I am saddened how distant my in the flesh friends have been. Certainly life evolves and relationships change but I'm finally giving myself permission to feel slighted by the lack of contact they have had. Just an email or instant message is all it would take to keep ties. I'm not much for out and abouts but they could still keep in touch. I feel slighted, there it is in black and white.
Feeling productive and having my talents appreciated has given me the sense of self worth I've been lacking in one area of my life. Perhaps I'll expect more from the rest as well.
I have to keep my work load low to keep the stress level down because I still have the uncanny ability to fall apart easily. I try not to self evaluate and accept that nature, cope and not negate. I'm getting somewhere even if its in my own time.
I'm reminded how important my blog friends have been. How nice it is to be thought of (thanks Jane) and the sense of history and sharing correspondence creates. I read more than I write these days. I sort of fear the introspection involved. Sometimes thinking pains me, silly as that may seem. But I realize putting myself out there is a step I cannot miss. To include it will make me whole. That to care and be cared about is a certain need for myself as it is for anyone. Thus, I am revisiting my published identity.
I'll put my first tell out there and let you in on a personal feeling of late. I am saddened how distant my in the flesh friends have been. Certainly life evolves and relationships change but I'm finally giving myself permission to feel slighted by the lack of contact they have had. Just an email or instant message is all it would take to keep ties. I'm not much for out and abouts but they could still keep in touch. I feel slighted, there it is in black and white.
Feeling productive and having my talents appreciated has given me the sense of self worth I've been lacking in one area of my life. Perhaps I'll expect more from the rest as well.
Into the void
I'm having an uncreative day, which is not a productive attribute for an artist. Then there is the business side of it all that could stand my attention. That too is super hard to pour myself into while in this currently bland head space.
What does one do to stir the senses? Is there a way to inspire, making opportune moments of productivity instead of this blankly staring kind?
What does one do to stir the senses? Is there a way to inspire, making opportune moments of productivity instead of this blankly staring kind?
Big Red
Sometimes it's so hard to write. It's time I did though. A little over a week ago after a long stretch of ills we decided it was time to say good-bye. I'm so sorry for trying to evade this feeling and my attempts not to become attached to a dog both sick and old.You were a wonderful girl, Speckles. We will love and miss you always.
Scurrying
Wow, have I ever been busy! I'd almost say I'm starting to create a life for myself, somewhat (beyond the duller existence I'm accustomed to). Although my patronizing doubts keep stomping away, there has still been some progress.
Those moments I've made my way from under my rock are something.
Those moments I've made my way from under my rock are something.
Just like a vacation
Wakey-wakey!
Talk about the weather
It's been either silly cold here (think below -40 if you factor in the wind chill) or dramatically warm for the season (like spring thaw) the past week. All this climate change seems to tap into my mood and very disposition. From freezing to tepid temperatures my body gauges the rise and plummet of the thermometer. Seriously, I've such a headache! Not much of a surprise with the likes of such confusion, wouldn't you think?
Hopefully this kinder weather has it's stay. Dogs get to have their walks. The nine to fivers get a slice of the daylight. Everyone gets a piece of what's been missing.
Soon, hibernation will yawn away it's sleepy state and some of us can start feeling normal again.
Hopefully this kinder weather has it's stay. Dogs get to have their walks. The nine to fivers get a slice of the daylight. Everyone gets a piece of what's been missing.
Soon, hibernation will yawn away it's sleepy state and some of us can start feeling normal again.
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