Back track

Today I couldn't help but reminisce about the time I was working at the bathbomb store. Just seeing a picture of any of the specialty soaps we carried brings it all back.

I guess a nose never forgets. I can still imagine every scent of the products we carried. I must have trained my nose well. Admittedly, I miss the shop terribly. My knowledge of the product and abilities truly meshed working there. Leaving the politics of the job behind, I truly loved it. Such sensory delight!

Of course I loved the job I transferred from to go there. Same company, different merchandise. The variety of such, was divine. It was the one job I felt 'cool' working at. The first one that my co-workers were truly nice to me. I can't think of any other jobs I enjoyed more.
But things change, and we move on.

Life has it's graces.
Looking back, what I was and who I am differ greatly. My devilish brain antagonizes but hasn't killed me. I've been fortunate, though unfamiliar. I'm blessed with the support of my mate and my family, who understand my manic nature. I'm afforded the time to create my art, and cope with my souls instabilities.

The past had it's moments, but today is promising...
At least the way I see it.

Agony

Maybe it's a melt-down from the holiday frenzy but I'm totally trashed (in the mental sense anyway). Everything makes me sad, in that ironic heart gouging sort of way. Whoever is holding the hole-punch and turning my hope to confetti, mission accomplished...

You've certainly spoiled my fun.

Canada Post: the nightmare before christmas

I'm about to blow a gasket. Really I am.

Not only did they 'attempt' to deliver a parcel (a present, no less) to the wrong house, they also left the tracking number sticker on the delivery notice they left. OMG! So when I go get my merchandise the outlet cannot find it! The distribution depot will probably get a hold of me in 5 days, AFTER Christmas. Too bad they are open Saturday just for Christmas parcel dilevery because mine is just sitting lost and ignored.

Plenty of people blame the holiday rush, that mishaps can occur. Puleez! I have had grief with the mail system here in Canada too many times to count. I’ve had so many items lost and damaged both from and to me.

Good grief! Charlie Brown, you can't out aaargh me!

Lack lustre

I've taken to the night-life again, seeing it's the only time I feel alright. That isn't a huge problem seeing I could do without the dreams lately. Thus, I'm not terribly fond of sleeping.

I do find myself struggling to keep awake during key-times throughout the day though. Crazy as it sounds, I do wake up from a lucid state sitting at the computer once and a while. I wouldn't say it's a problem yet. Even if I do take short naps when I allow myself it's still better than the slumber that would drag on for hours in the past.

I haven't been in a talking mood, and I guess a writing one either (seeing I haven't posted as often). It's a shame really, since it frees the soul. My connecting with people isn't common these days, unfortunately. I've been quite the recluse.


Anyway... I'm not sleepy now, so I guess I'll enjoy the decent head-space while I can. Even if it is at this late hour.

I've been staring at a mess for days waiting my moodiness out. I think I'll finally go and wash that sink full of dishes.

Hand me down

Growing up with my sis we really had some memorable moments, especially comical ones.

She always cracks me up...
just read her latest entry, 'Them polyester pants'.

TOO FUNNY!

Wired

Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning and felt like I'd spent a few hours in the fridge. My significant other and I were tucked inside a quilt like two pigs in a blanket (except no toasty wienies here).

I shivered my way to the source and scuttled down the hall. I flicked; on the light switch for some illuminated guidance. Oddly, I was faced with the absence of light. So distracted from my initial task II went to checked the breaker box. Nothing had been tripped. Lovely. We had just brought someone in who fixed some electrical problems just the day before!

Brrr! I trembled, very perplexed. Then my attention flips over back to the lack of heat. I turned the temperature up assuming the morning hours had become more frigid due to weather. I then slipped back into bed, scootching my feet in the warm pocket that had been left from beneath my dog's tummy.

*Blink Blink*

Dang! Now I was fully awake. Thus I couldn't help but be a ware that the usually audible pilot light click was missing. I knew then that the furnace was NOT going to kick in.

Back to the thermostat I went, to fidget with the slider switch much like how a person lifts the hood of their broken down car only to stare confused at the heap of engine parts. I had no idea how to fix it.

Bring in yesterdays cavalry and much thumping around we now have a temporary cord juicing the contraption. At least we won't freeze over the next few days until the handyman can come back.

This morning has been a mess of surprises I could do without... Like how strangely my kitchen is now less a coat closet due to this fiasco. Dear BF is in charge of the situation knowing the grim details, but I'm NOT ASKING.

From the bristles they're made

Finally, I started painting again! It's been such a long time since I'd done anything creative. My confidence was so low I wouldn't even let myself doodle for the longest time.

I spent a lot of time mourning over long ago strife with my art. The hardest part was living with the knowledge that art was everything I ever was, that I had let it all slip through my fingers and drop. Coming to terms with the fact that I wasn't living some life-long sentence of artistic hell, that I was actually on hiatus, THAT was taxing.

There is a lot of baggage that comes with creativity. If it isn't yourself, then it's society condemning it's worth. If you know anyone pursuing an artistic life, know how difficult it really is. Putting your heart out there for the world to see, endlessly judged on every nuance. That's a heavy cross to bare.

Sometimes it's the little things that make you fold. Want to give it up and slink away. The monotony of comments from strangers or family can be overwhelming. I guess what I'm trying to say is talent can feel like a disfigurement if it isn't appreciated. Art needs more nurturing and less prejudice.

Be inspired.
Value self expression.
Keep in touch with your creative side... We are all gifted.

Picture: Wet Paint ©1930 SEPS: Licensed by Curtis Publishing, Indianapolis, IN

Not in my backyard

I held off posting this entry because I was afraid my feathers getting ruffled was my own problem... But alas, I'll take a go at being ballsey and put it up anyway!...

I've been trying to decide which direction I should take with this blog entry. Do I dig my talons into a ratty U.S. judge or the shit-for-brains law makers right here in my beloved country Canada?

If you haven't heard, a Buffalo, N.Y., teacher has been convicted of having sex with his 15-year old student. The judge's unprecedented ruling offered the offender a chance to avoid a one-year jail sentence by accepting a three-year exile to Canada.

WTF? Since when did we become an easy out for dealing with pedophiles in the U.S. judicial and penal system? Are we an opportunity to save U.S. citizens tax dollars from being spent building jails and funding rehabilitation programs? Also, since when does a criminal afford a choice on how he serves his sentence?

Being banished to Canada isn't a punishment by any means given our free healthcare and absolute rediculous age of consent at a measly 14 (except when being in a position of trust, making it criminal). Being free to reside in the country that is home to his wife and children doesn't seem like such a deprivation.

Out of sight and out of mind is a corrupt attitude towards discipline. It's about time for everyone to be accountable for their actions, or lack of action.

Otherwise, in the end, suffer the children as it is they who and pay the price.

Sans grey

I am most certainly tired. Just not enough sleep.

These days lack so much focus and suffer as a result. Thank goodness I've been able to get a few things done and out of the way come night time. I'd feel like a total slouch if it weren't for those productive little spurts. Maybe its the veil of darkness shielding my eyes from the bleak sky that make the evening hours ideal. Such a cold and colorless backdrop outside these days. Unarguably dreary and mundane.

I've wrapped my furry sidekick in my jacket draping the back of my office chair. I can't help but notice there's about as much hair on it as the dog it covers. Dopey from the dregs of morning her sleep seems more peaceful than mine.

*yawn*
At the moment this short entry will have to do. I need to stretch awake and somehow tug my eyes open from the heaviness before it seals them.

My going back to bed is not a better option...
Even if it is a tempting one.

Bundle up

It's been a peculiar week fueled by coffee and other urban addictions. I've been so tired. Groggy during the day, so much so I've been sleeping in. Thank God for a conscientious bedfellow. Letting me escape the mundane morning routine of breakfast, attending to urgent canine bladders and what not.

Fall has christened the yard with a rainbow of leaves, frosting them over. The world feels ready to pull out the covers. A blanket of snow seeming only days away. I too long to hibernate from this steely grey. These dark days of winter.

Out come the wooly socks, heavy jackets, and fleece throw for the sofa. The nip in the air is formidable, enough that even the dog has been donning a sweater. It's mid October and the furnace is already struggling with the need for heat. I'm overwhelmed with the urge to stockpile hoards of the goods produced by demented baking.

Winter is certainly on it's way.